The Transformation Artists

“It’s like you, only better,” said Jacqueline Kent. It seemed like an oxymoron to me. How can an experience of a photo shoot be authentically transformative? Surely it’s just a change based on the expertise of the hair, makeup and wardrobe people plus the magic of a gifted photographer. I had to admit, I was skeptical, but something urged me to sign up for the photoshoot.

I have always been uncomfortable in front of a camera. When others were goofy or smiling broadly for the lens, I was trying to hide. My life's pictures is full of various attempts to smile or look natural while feeling like something was staring at me. Being the focus of the camera felt like another level of revealing myself so, as part of my preparation for this photo shoot, I dug a little deeper into who I was revealing. I’m glad I did because I uncovered a nasty habit. I told myself I wanted to uplift people but staring me in the face was someone with self-serving behavior. I had a belief no doubt left over from grade school that if I appeared less beautiful, less smart, less aware, people would like me more. I didn’t think of the

demeaning messages I was sending to myself and that I was only enabling other people’s habit of comparing themselves with others to feel superior.

The shift happened as I made peace with the scripts of my youth that had taken

up residence in my brain. “You look interesting, like Eleanor Roosevelt,” my

Mother said. “Alice the Goon, the big, fat baboon,” taunted my classmates even

though I was actually skinny then, and on and on. The saving grace was

remembering what a wise teacher said one day, “Everyone blooms in their own

time, and some of you are just late bloomers.” I’ve no idea what else he was

teaching that day, but I remember my heart lurching in a flash of understanding.

That’s me, I thought, “I’m a late bloomer.” Hope stirred possibilities deep inside.

I also tackled the subject of beauty. What was it? Was I beautiful? Is everyone

beautiful? I wrestled with this subject in a previous blog post, Beauty & the

Beasties posted on July 27, 2023. I knew I loved myself but why didn't that seem to apply to my appearance? Simple answer is that my facial features aren't what’s considered

cute or pretty or beautiful where I live. “It would take a really good transformation artist

to change this face from just interesting to gorgeous,” I quipped and then

stopped, mid-thought. My mind had shifted unexpectedly away from looking at myself

to seeing others with new eyes that saw beauty everywhere. I shivered with

goosebumps as it sank in. I got it. Beauty resides inside everyone and when we

believe we are beautiful, we see each other, through that lens, as beautiful. Hope

and possibilities vanished. I was beautiful and it didn’t feel at all strange.

Clothing and body image was next. What would look stunning AND feel

authentically me? Oh no, another script rippled through my mind, “Rubens would

hunt me down to paint my pear-shaped body,” I said with a bit of an attitude. OK,

not really a put-down but I felt a glimmer of longing for the legs of my youth. The

script didn’t hurt much this time as I laughed at myself. Are you kidding? Strong,

reliable hips, legs and ankles are so much appreciated.

Re-energized, I pulled everything out of my closet that was black and white, my

favorite colors. Then I went to second hand stores looking for special pieces and

found a Joseph Ribkoff asymmetrical top and a long dress with a Picasso-like

design on one side. They made me smile as I tried them on. I also found a couple

of outfits that I loved and looked gorgeous on the hanger but didn't feel at all like

me when I put them on. Goodbye designer Italian dress. Sayonara indigo silk

handmade gown. What did I finally decide? I chose everything that was a little

different and interesting that made me feel really amazing. Hmmm, different and

interesting? Didn't my Mother say I looked interesting?

My hair was transformed by the artistry of Ida-Marie Huska of Huska Hair. She

always listens to my creative ideas and uses her amazing cutting and color skills

to give me healthy, shiny, and great-looking hair that suits my face, age and

personality. This is not easy because I constantly come up with different ideas for

my very fine textured hair which Ida-Marie interprets masterfully. The bonus for

me is that I can usually brush it and it looks great despite my lack of skill in this

area. Thank goodness I love the “messy” look.

The different parts of me, attitude, wardrobe and hair, were starting to coalesce

into a beautiful whole. I had been working on losing COVID weight for months

and had lost 20 pounds. I have my walking legs back.

Finally, it was the day of the photoshoot. A gorgeous house and photo studio

were all set. Healthy snacks, water and coffee were on hand, music playing. A

rack of clothing fit for any style, shape and mood stood ready, just in case. Then

we began.

I’m struggling with the words to describe what happened over the next 3 hours.

Rachel began her artistry on my face. Her hands were like butterflies as she

prepared my skin with the most delightfully scented mixtures. My whole face felt

like it was drinking the most exquisite liquid after being parched for days.

Jacqueline picked up her camera shooting all the way through the process,

through our conversation about art and transformation and why we had all come

together to help reveal the woman, the me that wanted expression. Somehow, these transformation artists were creating the canvas that was me. Somehow, all the probing work to express myself honestly took the form of sculpting eyes, lips, contours, and both

Rachel and Jacqueline intuitively seeing the unseen through a face and a lens.

Expert instruction on how I could move so my best angles were captured

followed as Jacqueline arranged backdrops and lighting. I was not afraid of the

camera nor what I looked like anymore. The artists did their work with integrity,

professionalism and mastery and I was enveloped in their art with them.

The experience had a profound effect on me. I will always see myself, now, as the

beautiful work of art these amazing transformation artists drew from the canvas that was me. I felt honored; I felt like me, only better; I looked like me, only better. I was me,

only better.