Power When You Are Feeling Powerless

The inspiration for this topic was a Carolyn Myss video from 2023 called “Nothing on the Outside can Command You.” 

The word “power” conjures up so many horrible thoughts, especially in these turbulent times. Subjugation through wealth, political ideologies, knowledge, religion, race, or gender are just a few of those thoughts my mind coughed up as I began this post. Positive power, the power to create, make soul-led choices, stand up for who I am and my beliefs, is still power, I reminded myself in my best glass-half-full voice.

The inspiration for this topic was a Carolyn Myss video from 2023 called “Nothing on the Outside can Command You.” In this video, Carolyn says

We go from a cycle of the power of others in the outside world, to discover that we are powerless, to deciding not to be powerless, to realizing that life is the experience of empowerment, and then finally, the surrender of that power to the source of that power, to realizing . . . that when we get to that stage, all the power there is runs through us. You may not get to that stage, but you want to get to a place where you are strong enough in yourself so that you realize nothing on the outside can command you. (2:10-3:25)

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with power. Even the word felt uncomfortable. The thought of even having power made me sprint in the opposite direction because I didn’t know how I would react. In other words, if I had genuine power in my life, what would I do with it? I wasn’t sure, and that scared me enough to leave the subject alone for years. On Aug. 12, 2023, in “Rabbit Holes?” I write about standing up for myself. “Discover sooner than later what your soul already knows, align with who you are, and stand for yourself and your purpose. We are all responsible for accomplishing this significant work within the greater context of humanity, our planet, and possibly even the cosmos.”

In “What’s Wrong with Power?” (May 29, 2025) I explored an explanation for my huge fear of having or using power. “While I embraced my creative power, the fear of wielding broader power remained unresolved. Was I truly fearful of my power, or was I reluctant to relinquish control over it? What about utilizing the power of the soul in broader contexts? How does that even work? In spiritual communities, we often fragment into different modalities, fostering hierarchies where we judge each other as possessing varying degrees of power or experience. Is a heartfelt conversation less impactful than instantaneous healing? Does EFT/Tapping outstrip the efficacy of Reiki? Given the uniqueness of human experiences, is it reasonable to expect one healing approach to serve us universally? Healing meets us where we are, transcending mere techniques.”

Now, I wasn’t a pushover or weak. However, I abhorred the concept of having power over anyone. From “Reclaim Your Power” (June 19, 2025) I state that “my power isn’t in the experiences I avoid, nor how I get back to my normal self. I learned my normal self dies with every change. Embracing my new self with the wisdom each experience taught me is where my power lies. Therefore, I can say with conviction that my power did not fade or stop, nor did I need to reclaim it. It kicked in when I needed it.”

This post, “Power When You’re Feeling Powerless,” is about how I reconciled myself to having inner power and how I got there. Inner power did kick in when I needed it, but random walking around aware I had inner power wasn’t something I experienced for the longest time. Fear was no doubt responsible on many levels. I feared showing up as myself most of the time, never mind standing in my power when people judged me. Everyone makes an instant judgement of a person based on how they look or feel, but where was my inner power then?

In an effort to feel safe, I used my superpower to shrink the real me into my body whilst I put on a fake outer persona. Not having inner power meant hiding when threatened, and imagined rabbit holes were so easy to disappear into. I could feign deafness and retreat if someone said something nasty to me. Running away from situations was as easy as diving into rabbit holes. As I got older, I became adept at stuffing unpleasantness, mistakes, being misinterpreted, and awkward truths into my locked-up heart so I wouldn’t feel so responsible, so crushed.

That doesn’t sound powerful, does it?

Over several years, I excavated my inner self and healed everything I dug up. The result? I experienced a clarity, increasing intuitive hits, and a sense of calm I didn’t have before. Even at that point, I could not say without hesitation that I was powerful until a session with a local healer. Suddenly, I could say for the first time in my life, “I feel powerful,” out loud and simultaneously understood that this power was a potent combination of joy, light, and wholeness. An intense power stirred within me. Gone was power's sense of uneasiness tinged with fear that had plagued me on this journey of transformation.

For readers who are struggling to understand this sudden change in me and wondering how on earth you could experience that kind of power when you’re feeling powerless, please see this post as encouragement. Continue to be aware of what needs healing inside. We all have those promptings—a sudden hit to the heart, an experience that causes confusion, or a surprising negative reaction from another person—that tell us to explore what needs healing inside you.

Don't let the emotions of "not good enough" or "I'll never get there" stop you. Comparing yourself with anyone else (including yourself) is extremely destructive. Your power is in taking it one step at a time. The words of Canadian Rose “Shuneaj” Sangregorio jumped off the page of her book and penetrated my heart:

Carry the belief that everything is in divine order and continually ask yourself what is required for your next step to serve the greater good of all with trust and knowing your life will be different. (Rose Sangregorio, Journey to Self-Enlightenment, (Metaphysical Center of Canada Corporation, 2008), p. 105.)

Now, that's power! Carry on with your inner work, beautiful souls, keep going.