The Resuscitation of Beauty

My mind did a double-take as I read Jamie Meyer's article about Tom Cowan's shamanic journey entitled Shamanic Soul Retrieval: the Resuscitation of Beauty. Putting shamanism and beauty in the same title sounded strange, so of course, I had to read it. I identified immediately with his inner feelings and his "moaning with doubt and fear" before he took his first seven-day course on helping people to retrieve their lost souls.

I had the experience of a session with a shaman I trusted, so there wasn't any moaning. What gave me some angst, though, was I thought I'd already reconnected with my soul and didn't need any further help in that area. The hole in my middle torso that had been empty for years suddenly felt full. My behaviour was different. Perhaps it was a portion of my soul; I've heard of souls being stolen. I shivered.

Why do we need soul retrieval? Good question. I didn't know why I needed to retrieve my soul except that I had a pervasive yearning for it. After my soul reconnected, that yearning completely vanished. As I dealt with major traumas in my life, sought healing, and dug all the dirt I could find out of me, a part of my soul found its way back. Trauma can be anything that causes deep suffering, and any suffering over a sustained amount of time can drive pieces of our soul away.

The world doesn't seem so beautiful right now. Perhaps we've lost our sense of ceremony. Christmas was a very busy time for our family growing up: red velvet dresses with furry necklines and wrists, barrels full of candy, cookies, cakes, nuts and bolts, all made by our mother in between visiting shut-ins, preparing special music events, and organizing Christmas Story Pageants. I can't imagine how she did all that. It was all part of the Christmas ceremony that culminated in the Christmas Eve service when the last Advent candle was lit. We were preparing to celebrate Jesus' birth. Candles flickering in the dim light, I listened for the hush that always took place. The hush was preparing our hearts to receive the Christmas miracle. Awe, reverence, silence filled the church every time. And it was beautiful.

"Beauty, by its nature, refuses to be tamed by humans. Beauty comes not to obey our small ways, but to shatter the smallness that has been imprinted on us in so many ways. Beauty is a spiritual power, the breath of the Holy, and it does not arise from the senses or the intellect, but comes from beyond both. Beauty is what transforms us, what bends reality anew, what calls the soul back...."

Jaime Meyer, words, Tom Cowan, story, Shamanic Soul Retrieval: the Resuscitation of Beauty, July 11, 2017, shamanicpractice.org/article/shamanic-soul-retrieval-the-resuscitation-of-beauty/

I struggled with the concept of beauty for a very long time. I could not see myself as beautiful at all compared to the gorgeous people I saw around me. Comparing myself to others was only one issue. I also hid who I was so no-one could see the real me and suffered with excruciating shame because I existed on earth as an imperfect human. If I kept my power in, I kept myself small and safe; if I let my power out, I feared I might explode.

According to the article, "Beauty is manifested spiritual power." What is spiritual power, then, besides beautiful? Manifested means something that is brought into existence. I struggled with this concept, too. No matter how I visualized and went through many people's processes of manifestation, I manifested very little. I realize now that if I wanted to attract something into my life, I couldn't because I was hiding the real me. How can one flow with the spirit of the Creator if I couldn't flow with the real person inside me? Resuscitating, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is "the action or process of reviving someone from unconsciousness or apparent death."

It took a lot of resuscitating, healing, intention, acceptance, and remembering who I was. I embraced the un-perfect, the ugly, the small me, and loved her. What I want is drastically different today because I am different. I had to truly face all the parts of me and love them before my soul could reconnect with me. Then, I had a soul retrieval session with a shaman, and it was powerful. The space where my soul reconnected felt full, but after the soul retrieval session, my whole torso felt full.

Dare I say it? I recognized and felt a quiet power within me. I'm still processing how that power is manifesting in my life today, but I'm not afraid of it anymore. As I bring this quiet, spiritual power to my soul's purpose in life, I know I will accomplish what my heart and soul want to create. Yes, on my things-I-want-to-have-in-my-life-list there are physical, comforting, human wants and spiritual requests. Somehow, there is also a sense that as I grow spiritually inside, I am resuscitating beauty with everything I create, along with all those moving forward on their spiritual path in life.

Being in that flow of creating is what brings me much joy; being in the flow of creating something that will impact lives is an experience that brought me "into direct contact with Holy forces that show you unequivocally how simultaneously small and immense you are."