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Hope, Love and Tea


cookies on a china plate with tea

How do we, collectively, practice love in situations where we are called to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others?


This is a question I heard one day and the more I thought about it, the deeper the questions and possible answers got. Let me explain. 'We' means humans everywhere. 'Love', as I use it here, is the kind of love that is all encompassing. It seeks to guide us toward the greater good rather than protecting ourselves or our corner of the world to the detriment of others.


What are the situations in which we are being called? The news reminds us daily of situations such as homelessness, food issues, inflation, climate change and countries where conflicts grow more dire everyday. What about situations daily in our families, in our neighborhoods, in our communities to which each of us is being called to understand? It's overwhelming for a single person, family or community to handle, but not such a huge task to be called to daily practices of kindness or encouragement. That's a good place to start.


I used to work with a certain amazing designer in my town who would offer a hot cup of tea and cookies to a homeless person or anyone who looked like they needed a lift. She seemed to know who needed to be seen and heard, too. Sometimes they would come back a year or two later just to talk with her again or catch up on how they were doing. They all said she made a difference in their lives. Her heart gave hope, love and tea to many in our downtown core. That's what practicing love looks like.


What about being called to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others? When we go deep into ourselves and start examining our motivations, that would give us a deeper understanding and perhaps even deeper insight and compassion for ourselves and others. In the light of loving ourselves, we can all examine our motivations and our life's patterns for clues to what needs our understanding to change and evolve. That's something we can all do, too.


Remember the psychiatrist whose unconventional practice changed both staff and inmates at a treatment center for the criminally insane? You may know the story of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and the Hawaiian practice of Ho-opono pono, a mantra that goes like this: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. There are many more layers to this practice so it's not possible to fully parse in a blog, but, if I can distill the essence of this powerful practice into a few words, the premise is that one is entirely responsible for everything in their life, good, bad or indifferent. I know, it's startling, isn't it. Joe Vitale, (Remember him from The Secret?), says:

"Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. 'When you look, do it with love.' "

Joe Vitale relates the first time he tried this practice.

...one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry" and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance. Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within me what was creating him. (https://vitalitylivingcollege.info/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/7-HOOPONOPONO.pdf)

I couldn't wrap my brain around it when I first heard this story. Many years later, though, I think I get it. It's my responsibility to be the most optimal human I can be. Some people dazzle us with their prowess in all the ways humans can and they are incredible, for sure. I'll bet they practiced every day for years to get to that level. What if we did the inner work moment by moment, day by day for years to improve our lives just like we practice physical exercises to improve our fitness? How might a lot of us, who do that inner work, change our world?


If it seems hopeless to think about what might happen in the future, let me extrapolate a little more. It could be possible to co-create what's around us by doing the inner work of changing ourselves. This is the path I've been travelling for many years. I thought I needed to know everything before I made any changes but I still don't know everything and will never know everything. In fact, the more I know, the more I'm sure I don't know. I learned failures are opportunities to grow.


Perhaps you sense, like I do, that we're running out of time to make a positive impact for change. I also know that thousands of people doing their inner work means more lives, humanity and the planet will be impacted in a positive way. Bad things will still happen, no doubt, but perhaps out of someone's inner work will come the answer to someone else's prayer. That's how grace works. Thank you to Robert Ohotto for that wisdom!


Of course, as we do our inner work, we can put our hearts out there in acts of love, of kindness, of caring for the greater good of humanity and our world. A cup of hot tea goes a long way when one is cold and without hope, but how do we love when the going gets tough? When the going gets tough, the tough attend to the darkness in their own inner backyard, then lets the light do its thing. When we do that inner work, the light changes us so we can BE someone's hope, love and tea and the answer to someone else's prayer. That's something we can all do and who knows, it might also be the answer to my question.

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